How to form a habit? How to develop a new habit or stop an old one?
They seem to be a major part of our identity and countless literature has been written on the subject.
We all know that the habits we create is what defines us.
Sometimes we lack persistence to apply new habits into our life or to stop bad habits.
Well, let me tell you what I know from my experience ( Allthough I didn’t read any books about habits directly, when I will, I will share a review with you! )
Form a habit – Checklist
You need three key ingredients to form a Habit or break a bad one,
First is to be honest with yourself. Truth
Second is to know you cannot break your word. Word
Third is to hold for 21 days. Length
Or short – Timeless Wall
Be honest with yourself
First is to be honest with yourself about the bad habit that you have, and see that no matter how comfortable it appears to keep going this way, it is not the right one.
This could prove to be extremely difficult, especially if you’re trying to break a life long habit, you have mentally reinforced so bad, that it seems it is what you should be doing till the end of your life.
Keeping your word
Second, How does one keep his word?
It is critical to understand why we should keep it.
As said in the book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” By Robert Kiyosaki always keep your word, as you have nothing else that will drive you in the world, and help you achieve your goals. If you can keep your word, you can have anything and form a habit aswell. If you can’t you’ll have nothing. ( Something of a sort, it is not a quote )
Giving a word to a person that is important to you and which you value could also be a deal breaker.
Holding for 21 days.
Third thing that could help you is knowing how much to hold to count it as a success and that is 21 times or days, why 21? I don’t know, but someone told me that once and for me, it works.
So it is pretty nice to know that if you held for 21 days that you have succeeded.
It is like running and having an ending point in mind. Knowing the ending point makes it a lot easier. On the other hand if you are at a run in the army, and you may only stop when the commander says so it makes the run a lot more difficult.
My real life example
So, I’ll tell you about my live example of the most dramatic habit I have changed.
What was it like?
I used to be addicted to computer games, I could play day in and day out. While skipping school and leaving the computer from time to time to go to the toilet and eat.
I could go like this for weeks In the summer vacations, then have a social meeting of some sort, than go back to the same loop.
And the worst thing was that I claimed that if it lets me have fun, then I shouldn’t stop. My whole life meaning was getting to the next level in the games I played. It is worse than cigarettes in my opinion.
In combat with myself
Then one day my father started talking to me about it. At first I didn’t agree but as time went by I was getting persuaded more and more that it is a bad thing that burns time and money, but still I didn’t stop… It was so difficult to see myself without it..
Making the decision.
Some time passed and my father was speaking to me about it yet again. That time I decided, no more, and I have told him “I promise that I will not play any games on the next vacation” Which comfortably lasted 21 days.
“And what are you going to do instead?” he asked
“I am going to read the book you gave me (Rich Dad Poor Dad), learn on Duolingo and we’ll see what else”
“ok” he said.
Then we passed to the next subject.
The Result
Guessing what had happened next? I indeed held for 21 days overcoming the cravings. And I’ll tell you, there were cravings. After that it was simpler and simpler.
You wouldn’t believe how incredible it felt, it was as if I was just born. Suddenly so much free time! What am I going to do with all of it? I believe I cleaned the whole house in that period, twice.. It was a pretty big achievement for me 😀
Conclusion
So that is my story, pay attention to how I applied the three principles in building a Timeless Wall – being Truthful with myself ( with the help of my father ) the meaning of my Word, The 21 days length of withholding.
Bless you all, I hope I have helped you in some way and that you’ll be able to overcome your bad habits and form new great ones, you people who are here, looking for ways to improve, deserve it!
Still looking for more tools to form a habit?
You might look for books on the subject, one book that is on my wishlist, suggested by Improvement pill is The Power of habit
Also don’t forget to check out my Post on libraries
The Power of habit – Charles Duhigg
–Ebay
So, what habits would you wish to stop or develop?
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links 🙂